{"id":200,"date":"2025-12-04T18:37:50","date_gmt":"2025-12-04T23:37:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/commons.princeton.edu\/gss206-f25\/?p=200"},"modified":"2025-12-04T18:37:50","modified_gmt":"2025-12-04T23:37:50","slug":"punishment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/commons.princeton.edu\/gss206-f25\/punishment\/","title":{"rendered":"Punishment"},"content":{"rendered":"

An idea or concept that has stuck with me since it was mentioned was\u00a0the way T. E. Lawrence describes his own self-punishment and self-erasure in Seven Pillars of Wisdom<\/em>. The idea that Lawrence took it upon himself to punish himself for his account of assault in Dera. I keep thinking about it because it makes me think about our other spies and how despite how difficult times got, they pushed themselves to be this figure, to become someone that sheds their past life similar to how a snake sheds its skin. Other spies embrace the danger and adventure as a second skin. Lawrence’s, in specific, self-discipline and self-destruction as more than just responses to trauma but attempts to overwrite who he is with a part of himself that he can’t (or won’t) reconcile with. He frames his suffering not just as something done to<\/em> him, but as something he must continually enact on<\/em> himself to maintain the persona he has constructed. I also think about his somberness and how that one scene in Lawrence in Arabia where King Feisal was holding his hands and the tension that was occurring, but it for a split second looked like he was going to draw back perhaps as a form of self infliction? This further sparks my interests of how espionage narratives often revolve around not just an external conflict but an internal fracture of self, no longer self preservation but searching for familiarity. The spies or intelligence official’s work becomes a punishment once you get attached to where you are, perhaps even a opportunity to discipline or reinvent the self. I think it’s really compelling to think about how much of identity is based off building what they are trying to escape. When I also think about narratives I think about how Lawrence constantly positions himself as an outsider also as a way of punishment. In Seven Pillars of Wisdom,<\/em> he is suspended between identities, British but doubts the British, fights with the Arabs but cannot truly be one of them. He becomes a legendary figure, but internally he feels deeply fractured. Pain as punishment both to rectify his wrongs and to be purified. An interesting concept to think about that I have been pondering. The myth Lawrence creates of self-inflicted punishment demands sacrifice, and the pain he embraces becomes the proof of that myth. In trying to control his story and elevate himself into a heroic figure, he also destroys parts of himself to maintain that image. When I pivot\u00a0to modern day as we see the duality between present-day current events, especially in university. I actually see this same kind of duality in a lot of college students. We\u2019re constantly juggling who we really are with who we think we\u2019re supposed to be, academically, socially, professionally. It reminds me of Lawrence because so many students end up shaping themselves around an image or expectation, sometimes to the point of burning out or feeling disconnected from their own interests. While it’s not self-punishment, it can feel suffocating to be in a pressure cooker that ultimately can get over burdened with all the different aspects of college life there is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An idea or concept that has stuck with me since it was mentioned was\u00a0the way T. E. Lawrence describes his own self-punishment and self-erasure in Seven Pillars of Wisdom. The idea that Lawrence took it upon himself to punish himself for his account of assault in Dera. I keep thinking about it because it makes … <\/p>\n

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